One of thebest open-world games of 2024,Stalker 2: Heart of Chornobylfeatures a host of NPCs. All of these stalkers, with their unique names and well-defined personalities, ended up in the Zone for one of three reasons: because the place drew them, because they want to destroy it, or simply for the money. Most NPCs you run into are trying to make a dishonest living.
you may go up to any NPC and get up to a dozen or more unique voice lines; that’s just how detailed the game is. The stalkers talk to each other, too, trying to cheer each other up or simply sharing news. Here are some of their most memorable conversations.
8"I Was Wondering Why That Mutant Kept Getting Bigger. Then It Hit Me."
I was wondering why that mutant kept getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.
One of the most common methods for stalkers to cheer each other up is to tell dad jokes. Most of them are Stalker-ified to make them more appropriate to the setting. This one’s a classic that NPCs love telling around the campfire.
Mutants will prove to bea big problemas you traverse Stalker 2’s kilometres of open fields, and they are in the habit of chasing you very far. If you’re carrying too much loot, you won’t even be able to run fast enough to avoid damage. This joke will be very relatable by the time you hear it.
7"When I Kick The Bucket…"
Deathbed Insults
“When I kick the bucket,” he explains, “there’ll be one less Duty prick in the Zone!”
Here’s a joke that shows the lingering feelings of resentment between Stalker 2’s different factions. The Freedom faction believes in independence and autonomy for the Zone; the Duty faction believes that the Zone must be destroyed. Given that their moral compasses are at polar opposites, it makes sense they take pot shots at each other.
In a Freedom-dominated town, Zalissya, a stalker tells the joke that an old Freedom fighter is about to die and hurriedly tells his younger friends to sign him up for the Duty faction. When they ask why, he says that when he dies, there’ll be one less Duty member in the Zone.
Wardens Destroyed
So a Warden goes to a shrink and says, “Doctor, I’ve been feeling like I’m an idiot, a cheapskate, and a jerk. Do I have a split personality or something?” “No, young man. You’ve had an epiphany.”
A cheap shot atthe Wardcomes from the NPCs at the town’s entrance, well within hearing range of the wardens stationed there. The joke goes that a warden visits a shrink and complains of impostor syndrome — that lately, he’s started to feel that he’s an idiot, a cheapskate, and a jerk.
The warden thinks it might be due to a split personality. The psychologist has a much simpler explanation: it’s an epiphany. Freedom stalkers love cracking jokes at the wardens' expense. The wardens keep their composure.
5"I’m A Controller, Not A Damn Genie."
Corruption In The Zone
The stalker pauses, then says, “Okay. I wish IPSF would stop demanding bribes from stalkers entering the Zone.” The Controller goes, “Are you nuts, man? I said Controller, not a damn genie!”
The IPSF goes hand in hand with the Ward in being an oppressive military faction. The IPSF works with the Ukrainian government to explore the Zone and keep stalkers from getting in. Unfortunately, corruption abounds in the IPSF, and they easily let in stalkers in exchange for some cold hard cash.
One of the stalkers makes fun of this situation, alluding to the Wish Granter, or Controller, in the original Stalker that gave it its shocking endings. The Controller is asked to stop the IPSF from letting in stalkers for bribes, but that’s too hard for even the Controller.
4"If Your Counter Squeaks…"
Gameplay Advice
If your counter squeaks like a mouse, get some vodka. If it rattles like a snake, go see Schulz. If it howls like a cat in heat, get some vodka for your buddies to drink to your memory.
Radiation is one of Stalker 2’smost delicate mechanics. As you absorb more rads, you slowly lose health. If you absorb them too fast, you’ll die even if your meter doesn’t fill up. Luckily, you carry around a Geiger counter to help you maintain a safe distance from irradiated zones.
Still, sometimes you’re able to mistakenly wander into the wrong irradiated area (the Slag Heap will kill you instantly). This piece of advice from the Stalkers lets you know: by that point, anti-radiation drugs or medics can’t save you, so just get some vodka for your friends to see you off into the next world.
3"Who Are You So Afraid Of?" “Pretty Much Nobody.”
A Good Stalker Stays Strapped
“[I have] a Colt 45 in the glove box, and a sniper rifle and an RPG in the trunk.” “Who are you so afraid of?” the Wardens ask, surprised. And the stalker says, “Pretty much nobody.”
Garbage is one of the most desolate regions in the Zone, filled with bandits and thieves and piles of radiation-spewing scrap metal. It’s best to be strapped when going in, if the game’s weight limit mechanics don’t stop you.
Here’s a joke the NPCs tell each other about this exact scenario. A Stalker drives into town carrying sniper rifles, magnum revolvers, and an RPG. Shocked, the Wardens ask him who’s got him so afraid. With that inventory, the stalker’s answer: nobody.
2"He’s Been All Around The Place."
Gallows Humour
One stalker asks another, “How’s Alex doing? I haven’t seen him in ages.” “Oh, you know, he’s been all around the place… I mean, he got into a Whirligig.”
There’s quite a lot of dark humour thrown around in the zone, exemplified by this piece of gossip. A stalker asks another where their friend Alex has been. The answer: all over the place — he got into a Whirligig.
Stalker 2 is filled withdangerous anomaliesthat can drain all your health before you even register their presence. The Whirligig is an anomaly that catches you and spins you at breakneck speed. You can imagine what ‘all around the place’ means with that knowledge. Poor Alex.
1Guitar
The Instrument Of Choice
Aside from all the idle chatter, you’ll often run into NPCs playing the acoustic guitar. It’s always relaxing to listen to them play, and they know some very good folk songs. The acoustic guitar is a beautiful instrument both in Stalker 2 and in real life: it’s easy to learn (compared to a violin anyway), it’s portable, and it sounds great unaccompanied. Unsurprisingly, it’s the instrument of choice for many stalkers.
you may play guitar yourself in the game. After you find the trader in Zalissya, go to the bedroom next to his shop. You can sleep there, and when you wake up, someone will have left a guitar on the bed next to yours. Pick it up, and you can sit around campfires and strum away, too. The game is so detailed that all the chord shapes you make are accurate and true to life.
