I don’t playEA FClike I used to. I’m not sure it would be possible to find enough hours in the day to work, eat, and sleep if I played as much as I did as a teenager, but even from those lofty heights, I’ve turned into a filthy casual. I play whenever the new game comes out, usually enough to get through a season of Career Mode, then drift away to sporadic online matches. Sometimes, I find my people.
This year, I’ve played even less than usual. Its release coincided withMetaphor: ReFantazioandDragon Age: The Veilguard, and when I settled down to unleash Sandro Tonali on the Premier League recently, I found I had only made it to October. I knew I wouldn’t even make it to the January transfer window as I played it in gaps between the holiday schedule, so I tried my hand at a few matches online.
EA FC Is A Brain Off Game
Playing EA FC is the easiest way for me to chill out while gaming. I mostly play single-player games that are heavy on story, which means those times in life where you don’t have a big chunk of time to set aside but do need something to plug The Void can be difficult. I don’t do shooters, or any kind of multiplayer or live-service game for that matter.
I don’t mind a brainless romp throughTHPS,Crash Bandicoot, or recently,Astro Bot, but they’re more like one-off time fillers. At the moment, I know I’m going to have a few evenings where I’ll want to chill out with a game, but don’t want the pressure of starting a new one. THPS can kill an evening, but busting tricks starts to feel pointless if I’m doing it over and over again. Withthe online servers still broken on modern consoles, that means I turn to EA FC. And sometimes, people don’t quit. It’s a Christmas miracle.
I’m not very good at EA FC. A lack of time dedicated to playing and aging out of the teens-to-early-20s peak for esports have slowed my reflexes and blunted my skills. I don’t have to worry too much about the meta as I avoid Ultimate Team, and in regular Online Seasons I find I usually plateau at Division 5 or 6. This time though, having barely played the game, I was still in Division 10.
When You’re Good, You’re Good
I haven’t even picked a main team this year. I would be my own team, Newcastle United, but I’ve been burned too often by poor matchmaking that ignores the star rating and pairs you constantly with Real Madrid, even if you elect to play as Accrington Stanley. I experimented with Real, but also tried Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, England, France, and Bayern. Real clearly had the best players, with the whole squad built for speed and strength - the only two attributes that seem to matter in EA FC. But I found a rhythm with Chelsea too.
I played a few games that were pretty normal. A 4-2 win here, a 3-1 loss there, a 2-2 draw in the middle. High scoring for real football, but maybe a little dull by EA FC standards. Then I was suddenly drawn against someone who clearly was not in Division 10 because of a lack of time to play, but because they simply were not very good.
Their defenders dribbled out with monstrously heavy touches, their midfielders passed straight into traffic, their strikers (though often starved of the ball) ran it out of play every chance they got. Every cut inside fooled them. Every chip sailed over their keeper, who had been dragged out of position. Every tackle was clean. Every shot was a goal.
It Really Is The Taking Part That Counts
By half time, I was 5-0 up. I assumed they would quit when the enforced pause that comes with changing ends appeared, and considered that no harm, no foul. This game was over as a contest. I’d get the three points and move on to a more engaging match-up, and they’d go back into the lottery machine of random matchmaking and pray for someone more on their level. But instead, they came out for the second half, cheerful and chipper.
I kicked off, and had little sympathy in my heart. Nkunku dribbled from the centre circle through their backline, and I tried a powerful drive from the edge of the box. I probably should have taken a touch and curled it into the gaping net, but why not have a little fun at 5-0 up? Why not have a little fun indeed. Their keeper tossed the ball to the centre back, who headed it back to him. He headed to the left back, who smashed it across to the right back without letting it bounce. He tried to head it into midfield, but it fell to the feet of Cole Palmer. Well, I wasn’t going to miss out on the fun. I spun around and lashed the ball back to Levi Colwill, who headed it out to Reece James.
The rest of the game continued like this. We did some head tennis, sometimes amongst our teams, sometimes amongst ourselves. We tried dribbling past each other using only skills, no sprinting. We tried shots from the halfway line. We dragged our keepers out whenever the other team had the ball. We ran with the keepers. We chipped corners back as far as we could, and lashed them on the volley.
In the end it finished 7-4, much closer than it would have been in a ‘proper’ game. But would I really have remembered beating someone who clearly wasn’t very good 8-0? It made me remember playing with friends all gathered around one small bedroom TV, just playing for the hell of it. It doesn’t really matter if you win in these online games, they’re just supposed to be fun. That match was the most fun I’ve had this season. When I get promoted and start getting hammered, I might suggest a game of head tennis instead.
